Gender and Sexuality in Skyrim: What Others Have Said

Having written my previous post without having taken the time to read what others might have already written on the subject, I have decided now to provide a quick “literature review” here, in retrospect, of what others have said on gender and sexuality in Skyrim–though one that is in no way exhaustive. In some places I have felt the need to provide critical comment. Sorted alphabetically by author/alias:

The Dichotomy of Civilisation and Nature in Skyrim

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Skyrim’s Eldergleam Tree, The Elder Scrolls Wiki.

Alex Duncan, “Savage Beasts: The Spatial Conflict between Civilization and Nature in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim,” at First Person Scholar, reflects on the relationship between civilisation and nature in Skyrim. He writes,

In Skyrim the game world is segmented into cities and the areas between them, creating a more or less rigid division with civilization/urbanity marked as distinct from nature/wilderness. The non-urban is portrayed as a threatening space that must be overcome by the heroic player-character, and by doing so the player is able to dominate this virtual environment, represented by game elements like “clearing” dungeons and the ability to “fast travel.”

This is not unrelated to concerns of gender and other features:

As ecofeminist thinkers like Val Plumwood have stressed, the binary division between civilization and nature is part of the conceptual structure justifying race- and gender-based oppression: those aligned with nature and wilderness are different and inferior, and so can be denied full rights and subsequently colonized (p. 43). The environment depicted in Skyrim is a virtual one, but the paradigm that it both reflects and reinforces is one with dire consequences for all things deemed “natural.”

Duncan treats this in greater detail in the essay and I recommend reading the whole thing. He is another significant quote:

Certain places “discovered” by the player are things like forts, ruins, barrows, tombs, and caves, which function as interiors within the exterior. These exterior-interiors are some of the most dangerous sites in the game where powerful enemies like the blind and disfigured Falmer and the zombie-like draugr present a feared inverse order that is irrational and subhuman. Marking those outside patriarchal Western norms as subhuman or as “closer to the animal and the body” is a tool for the subjugation of these groups through “racism, colonialism and sexism” (Plumwood p. 4). These beings and their social order are monstrous, dangerous, and threatening to ordered society, justifying its invasion, appropriation, and destruction.

The “Misogynistic Nightmare” That is Skyrim’s Modding Community

Amy Josuweit, “Has Skyrim’s Modding Community Become a Misogynistic Nightmare?” at The Mary Sue, begins with the premise that modding is known for its oddities. “What you might not be expecting, however, is the troubled current state of modding culture. The modding scene is getting frighteningly misogynistic, and it only takes a cursory glance at the Nexus to see it,” the Nexus having been “the center for Skyrim modding for some years now.” Whereas in the past the Nexus has filtered out mods containing adult content–mods that have been made available elsewhere online–Josuweit notes that recently (post was written 20 November 2017) adult content has been slipping in unmoderated. “Adult content is all well and good…. The problem here is that this content notably focuses on adult themes with a misogynistic lean–women followers with comically sized butts and breasts, followers that are either dressed in almost nothing or are nude,” etc. Some of the mods are up-front about this, but others slip sexually explicit, misogynist material into otherwise neutral mods, “like this otherwise innocuous hair replacement mod that uses a model of a sexualized young girl.” In this world, most mods focus on adjusting female characters and bodies in the game while hardly attending to their male counterparts at all. Followers, a major aspect of Skyrim, become “glorified blow-up dolls.” The significance of this is not lost on Josuweit. “Suddenly, the implications of those sexed-up teenage followers are pretty clear.” Finally, Josuweit draws attention to the fact that this sudden influx is pushing mods of higher quality out so that the Nexus is looking a lot different to what it used to be.

Modding and Social Constructs

Ariane Arsenault, Tyra Baltram, Wesley Clarke, Lauren Hamilton, and Maria Mon, “Modding: The Alteration of Social Constructs and Aesthetics in Skyrim,” at Games and/as Literature, look at the intersection between modding and social constructs. They write of the mods available at the Nexus,

It cannot be denied that a lot of these mods fit into preconceived notions of beauty and masculinity, and sometimes exacerbate these notions to an uncomfortable degree. There are mods that alter the female walk animation to make it more attractive, as well as a vast quantity of skimpy armor mods (up to 400 at nexusmods.com) and mods that modify the female body shape.

On the other hand, mods such as “Practical Female Armors” head in the opposite direction:

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Practical Female Armors.

As the authors note of vanilla Skyrim, “Like many other RPG games, Skyrim features two separate armor designs for each piece that can be equipped in game: one for male models and one for female. Consistently the female versions show more skin, are less practical, and exaggerate and emphasize female bodies.” And this extends to character animations. They point to the “Simple Female Running Animation” mod, writing, “The default run features a conspicuous hip swaying which is off putting to many players, and further makes a suggestion that the female avatar is a sexual figure to be watched.” The mod offers a more realistic substitute. The authors also highlight the common complaint that the race and gender of the player’s character barely affect gameplay at all. They suggest that a mod addressing this “could be an extremely valuable dimension for a player to connect with their avatars in a new and meaningful way,” though they also notes the potentially huge nature of such a task. Moving on, the authors proceed to comment on two “prostitution” mods popular on the Nexus and LoversLabs:

Both allow male and female characters to talk to any random humanoid character in the game, remove their clothing, and engage in sexual activity with them with no hesitation or resistance. These mods imply that sex does not require the permission of a sexual partner to engage in, promoting the pervasiveness of misogyny and rape.

Clothing and Gender Roles

SkyrimTavernClothesMaleFemale
The same Tavern Clothes on male and female characters, The Elder Scrolls Wiki.

Eniko, “Bethesda’s Obsession with Heteronormativity,” at Kitsune Games, examines Skyrim in the context of other Bethseda games, discovering an odd tendency for the same clothing items to appear differently depending on the gender of the character wearing them. “I felt like the game designer was standing behind me in spirit, clucking his or her tongue and going ‘oh no dear, you don’t want to wear that, you want to wear a skirt, because girls wear skirts!'” Basically, the problem with this is that it upholds stereotypes about gender roles and the ways that different genders (here cis men and women) should present themselves. The author relates this to her own experience of being disliked for her assertiveness and being butch, which seemed to many around her as a transgression of her role as a young woman.

Daedric Princes and Gender

TESV_Nocturnal
The Daedric Prince, Nocturnal. The Elder Scrolls Wiki.

Evolution Kills in a forum post at The Thinking Atheist, highlights something that I haven’t been able to verify yet but would be interested in hearing from others on: “My use of gender neutral pronouns [for Daedra] is purposeful, because Daedra are genderless. While some may prefer a male avatar (Mehrunes Dagon, Molag Bal) or a female avatar (Azura, Nocturnal), others are more than happy to be either as needed or desired (Boethia, Mephala), while others eschew a humanoid avatar entirely (Peryite, Hermaeus Mora).” The significance of this comment is in relation to Nocturnal’s “suggestive” clothing: “Given the Daedra’s penchant for toying with mortal affairs for their own enjoyment, if Nocturnal is choosing to manifest as a suggestively clad woman, it is for its own benefit. Nocturnal is operating from a position of power, and it sets the terms of the player’s limited interaction with it.” I’m not completely convinced though because although this is a possible interpretation, it does not take into account game design that is clearly sexist in other areas. Evolution Kills’s comments on certain women in Skyrim, namely Jarl Elisif, Karliah, Aela, Serena, and Haelga are also noteworthy.

Skyrim as Milestone for LGBT Representation

Jason Beck, “On the Maturation of Queer Representation: Mass Effect 3 and Skyrim,” at BoardGameGeek, begins with the premise that “queer representation in video games has, of late, matured.” Writing in 2012, he is referring to the then recently released Mass Effect 3 and Skyrim. Of Skyrim he observes,

My character (a dude) could propose marriage and get hitched to a dude without any discussion of its strangeness, without having to jump through extra hoops, without getting treated any differently by anything at all.

This is the correct way to approach queer inclusivity: by treating it as normal (because, for us, it is- as normal as your heterosexuality is to you); by not treating it like something outlandish, freakish, bizarre; by not calling attention to it.

Beck is sceptical of the possibility that this was a market-driven decision on Bethseda’s part. I’m not so convinced that it’s that easy to make such judgements. Virtually everything is market-driven and both inclusivity (in the current climate) and controversy can be profitable. You will also note that Beck does not address the heteronormativity of the wider world of Skyrim. This might be addressed in the 44 comments on the post though, which I haven’t read.

Gender Representation and Flaming Breasts

Jillian, “Of Atronachs & Hagravens: The Problem With Women in ‘Skyrim’,” at FemHype, attends to the representation of women in Skyrim. She writes of one of the first characters the player meets in the game:

If you venture to the next village after the siege, you’ll meet Camilla Valerius in Riverwood, a beautiful woman stifled under her brother’s control and pitted between two sleazy men with nothing better to do than vie for her affections like she’s a limited edition Amiibo. I’m still disappointed there wasn’t an option to toss both men into the river.

Jillian proceeds to comment on the Flame Atronach, “Really? Flaming breasts were an absolute gameplay necessity? The frost atronach should have had ice balls, then.”

Flame_Atronach
Flame Atronach, The Elder Scrolls Wiki.

Jillian also notes that Skyrim constructs a dichotomy between virginal, desirable women who can be controlled, such as the Flame Atronach, and the “whore,” the undesirable and uncontrollable woman: “In direct contrast, the hagravens represent the aging, decrepit form of the typical witch stereotype. You can’t control them in-game because they control themselves — after having sold their humanity in order to possess such power.” Finally, Jillian highlights the lack of supportive friendships between female characters, in contrast to those of male characters in the game: “Ulfric has the ever-faithful Galmar and Balgruuf has the admittedly short-sighted Hrongar. General Tullius, at least, has Legate to balance him, but no other woman in sight.” One of the comments in the relation to Jillian’s piece is also of note, from Empress M: “Just wanted to point out, in support of this, that there are two pages worth of named female characters and four pages of males. So basically Skyrim has double the number of important males in it…which is insanely ridiculous.”

Skyrim and Life as a Transgender Woman

skill tree
Summary of the Skill Tree in Skyrim. The Elder Scrolls Wiki.

K. Danielle, “Gender is Like Skyrim,” at Dude, I’m a Chick, employs Skyrim as a metaphor for life as a transgender woman. Unlike World of Warcraft, players in Skyrim are not bound to a particular class (mage, warrior, rogue) or faction. “Let’s say you make an Imperial woman named Fera.  That’s it.  You’re done.  So, what are you?  Are you a rogue, warrior, or mage?  Are you aligned with the bandits or knights or thieves?  You don’t know yet, because you will figure all of that out while playing the game.” Moreover, throughout the game if you get bored of going in a particular direction, like using the sword and shield, you can switch to magic and even be skilled in both, etc. “You’re not playing a class; you’re playing YOUR character.” If you haven’t picked up on what K. Danielle is getting at yet, she spells it out for you:

In our society, we sort of look at gender the same way.  Men are expected to have dominant nature, muscular strength, hairy bodies, penises, the ability to impregnate, paternal attitude, and are generally independent.  Women are expected to have submissive nature, curvy bodies, soft skin, vaginas, the ability to get pregnant, maternal attitude, and are generally dependent.  In a game like WoW, a Priest would be made fun of and have a very hard time playing the role of a Warrior, and vice versa.  Similarly, a man would be made fun of and have a very hard time playing the role of a woman, and vice versa.  The traditional RPG class system has a lot in common with our society’s standard gender roles, doesn’t it?

Whereas “society wants you to decide” on a particular gender, or WoW on a particular class, the example from Skyrim demonstrates that this is not always as clear-cut:

You don’t fit in the system.  You are so complex and strange, that the world’s classification system does not apply to you.  Your character in Skyrim could never exist in a game like WoW.  Furthermore, you’re making a bold argument that the classes in WoW are somewhat disappointing because you’re constantly feeling the urge to wear armor or weapons that you simply aren’t allowed to.  How many men want to cook, but don’t out of fear of being made fun of?  How many women want to lift weights so they can be muscular, but don’t because their friends will think they look ugly in a dress with big muscle arms.  How many people will be forcibly categorized as male/female when they’d rather not be either?  I don’t look at things that way.

Nor does this simply apply to trans people, K. Danielle concludes. Everyone needs to realise that they cannot be slotted into simple categories.

LGBT Characters in the Elder Scrolls Series

ladynerevar, “LGBTQ in the Elder Scrolls,” at The Provisional House, has provided a brief overview of LGBT characters in and aspects of different games in the Elder Scrolls series. Concerning Skyrim, only the player and their potential partners through marriage, alongside Bjorrnolf and Hrodulf in the Dragonborn DLC are noted. Significantly, it seems that since the release of Elder Scrolls Online, the series has given a lot more attention to this, with ladynerevar listing 22 possible examples. A less comprehensive, similar post, though with more detail in areas, is offered by Jack Maher at RAINBO.

Gamer Poop and Subverting the Heteronormative Norm

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Screenshot from mans1ay3r’s first Skyrim video.

Lawrence May and Fraser McKissak, “Queering Stories and Selves: Gamer Poop and
Subversive Narrative Emergence,” Intensities: The Journal of Cult Media 9 (2017) — discuss mans1ay3r’s YouTube channel, GamerPoop. Even before modding and other forms of adjusting games, games already have a “latent potential” (3) for queer representation. For example, in the context of Skyrim, “the emphasis on the bodies and musculature of hypermasculine warriors might invite comparisons to the homoerotic interpretations of Conan the Barbarian or Fabio’s game art for Iron Swords II” (4). Regardless of the developers’ intentions, material from the game can be queered by players for their own sakes. But perhaps the authors are too generous in their definition of queering, writing, “The very act of modding a game can be understood as a queer practice. It is a queering of the game text because it involves radically rewriting, or queering, the intended meanings of the video game” (5). I wonder if there is some cognitive dissonance as to how this relates to explicit queerphobia, misogyny, and racism in the modding community. So it is that “the mods available for games such as Skyrim and Fallout 3 would hardly be considered overtly ‘queer’ in nature, as they predominantly focus on heterosexual fantasies involving female character models and ways to improve the graphical features of environments to make them more realistic” (6). Nonetheless, “Even though the content of the mods might be ‘straight’, the practice itself is consistent with the way we can understand ‘queering’ as an act of deconstruction” (6). This kind of argumentation does make me wonder. How quickly does it become indistinguishable from the following?:

Untitled
On the article, see Elliot Swain, “How to Win Feminist Research Awards While Bootlicking the Pentagon.”

Moving on, the authors proceed to apply this concept of queering to mans1ay3r’s videos. The YouTuber goes beyond the latent tendencies in the games: “The Gamer Poop videos are, ultimately, very deliberately constructed, involving various degrees of effort by mans1ay3r in terms of planning, scripting, customising and applying game mods, video editing, audio-manipulation, and voice-over work” (7). Thus,

The queer reconstructions of Gamer Poop’s videos game content are queered in ways that would be impossible within the fixity of the gameworld as played by gamers. Mans1ay3r engages with queer affordances within the game engine, rather than the game’s narrative or ludic potentials. The user therefore exposes the heterosexual assumptions that govern these gameworlds. Latent queer content exists in the games, but mans1ay3r must stop playing them to engage with it…. The videos of Gamer Poop take their queer engagement one step further by queering the infrastructures of the gameworld itself (7).

In contrast to Skyrim’s “desexualised” nature–no sex takes place in the world and sex is rarely talked about (while mostly agreeing, I would point the authors to such as Haelga and the Lover’s Comfort)–mans1ay3r’s videos present quite the opposite: “The sexual content in mans1ay3r’s videos—particularly in their continual references to pussies, cocks and sexual acts—sex an otherwise desexualised world, so that heterosexual assumptions of the sexed body can be more readily queered” (8). But the authors appear to be wholly positive about mans1ay3r’s “queering” of Skyrim. A little further we read:

In the emergent narratives of Gamer Poop, heteronormative gameworlds are subverted into queer lifeworlds where queer performances and identities can exist openly and sporadically to such an extent that to be seen as straight, or to watch the videos as straight, is to become the outsider (11).

This may be true and a fair point to an extent. But, I wonder, what is the nature of this queernormativity and an almost heterophobia? I don’t think that mans1ay3r’s “playfulness,” a term the authors use throughout, should be so readily implied as a celebration of queer sexualities. As the authors later acknowledge, “At times the Gamer Poop channel’s humour is counter-productive and veers towards mockery. But what mans1ay3r does show is the emergent potential for queer storytelling and identification: plausible, logical and seemingly sustainable alternate versions of these video games’ worlds can be created, and they can be queer” (14). And further, “This is not to say that
mans1ay3r is attuned to the political nature of queer theory, or that their channel’s queer content is progressive (for the most part it is definitely not). Even if the objective is simply to elicit audience laughter at the videos’ representational absurdities, a rejection of heterosexual norms and heterosexual narratives is evident” (15). I don’t find this line of argument wholly convincing. Surely it is queer people who themselves know how to tell their own stories? Consider the Rocky Horror Picture Show as a good example of why not to go in this direction.

Race and Gender in Skyrim vs. Realism

Matt F., “Race and Gender in Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim,” offers some comments on race and gender in Skyrim. On race, he notes how Skyrim attempts to tackle this issue, but does not extend racial limitations to the player (apart from differences in beginning skill-sets): “It does however, fail to make the player character subject to the trials and tribulations of other races. For example, a Khajiit player character is allowed to go freely in and out of the cities, whilst the computer controlled Khajiit must stay outside of the city.” Notably, “Gender in Skyrim is handled much worse than race is. Gender in Skyrim has no effect on the player character aside from looks” (this is mostly true, but see, for example, the Allure perk, among other minor things). Matt then suggests that Skyrim might be improved by having NPCs interact differently with the player according to their chosen race. Thus, “The game could be modified in way that makes Khajiit unable to enter cities without first performing tasks in order to gain the trust of the cities,” among other suggestions. In regard to gender, Matt makes the interesting proposal: “Clothing and armor would have to be available in both male and female sets, allowing female players to dress as males and vice versa.” As with race, he suggests that different NPCs interact with the character in different ways on the basis of their gender. Matt concludes by arguing that Skyrim’s attempt at racial and gender equality undermines its realism.

Skyrim and the Dollhouse

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Pixabay

SarahBeck, “Exploring Gender Roles in the Virtual Dollhouse of Skyrim,” at Women in Game Studies, offers a look at gender in Skyrim by way of the field of dollhouse analysis. “Dollhouses have been historically used as interpretive play spaces where the user can explore social constructs. The goal of this essay is to merge the analysis of dollhouses, originating from the 16th century concept of miniatures and deconstruct gendered social norms in virtual spaces.” To be honest, I didn’t really follow the significance of the connection, but SarahBeck does make some other interesting points. She notes the traditionally masculine domain of property ownership, something available to the player through the Hearthfire DLC. “For example, until the early 1900s women were not allowed to own property independently, and the right was first granted to married women exclusively.” The player thus takes up the role that is traditionally masculine, which can also be seen in their income far exceeding that of their spouse’s. Moreover, traditionally feminine tasks are those “the player can engage in or opt-out of, such as cooking and child rearing.” SarahBeck also attends to Skyrim’s “market economy” where “the prices of the homes and land are arbitrarily decided by the Jarl of the hold.” Significantly, a class system accompanies this:

A good example of these ideologies can be seen in Elisif the Fair, Nord Jarl of Solitude. She is the widow of High King Torygg and thus has a claim to the throne of Skyrim…. This depicts acquiring the position of Nord Jarl not because of her skills, but marriage. Also, it is relevant to point out the gender disparity in politics in the world of Skyrim. Of the nine starting Jarls of Skyrim only two are female and neither Elisif the Fair, who is defined by her beauty, and Laila Law-Giver, known for her ignorance surrounding the thieves guild, are representing women being competent at holding power.

All of this leads SarahBeck to the evaluation that:

These observations show that although Skyrim allows you to play as any gender that the writing and development of the game is still rooted in a heteronormative and sexist ideal of the home, family and property. Especially when compared to other societal structures such as North American indigenous knowledge paradigms where the community cumulatively owns land. This highlights the Eurocentric themes of the games and exposes the subtle bias towards patriarchal and colonialist beliefs.

And further: “By rewarding players with free stat bonuses, gold, and food for marrying Skyrim is also concluding that these things are deserved rewards teaching the player that in marriage one’s spouse is supposed to serve them and offer them free labour.”

Gender Representation in Marketing and Gameplay

Sophie Prell, “Studying sexism with Skyrim — Fus Ro Va! Gina!” at Destructoid, combines a narrative of her gameplay from her character’s perspective with comments on sexist tendencies in Skyrim. She introduces her analysis with a comment from Tom Bissell in his review of Skyrim, a comment that no doubt evoked some pushback: “If you have no idea what the Elder Scrolls franchise is, you are probably either (a) an adult woman, or (b) the sort of person who once beat up the sort of person who likes the Elder Scrolls franchise.” Prell replies, “It’s an attitude equivalent to a ‘No Girls Allowed’ club, and if I can let you into my life as a child for a moment, I confess I never really had a fondness for those, either.” Other problems with Skyrim’s playership also quickly emerge: “The most popular Skyrim mod on Curse right now is for nude females. By a 5 to 1 margin it beats out the better performance mod, meaning the subculture you and I belong to would rather see tits than see a game run better.” Prell proceeds to the game itself. Like countless others before it, it lacks adequate female representation. This extends to the marketing of the game. “Whenever a game is released that features the ability to customize a character’s gender, the prominent presence associated with its ad campaign is almost universally the male one.” This was no less true for Skyrim. Prell continues on to the gameplay. In both the Thieves Guild and Companions questlines, important women like Karliah and Aela ultimately end up standing aside:

Merrillia [Prell’s character] saves the day, assisted by a strong female, who at the last minute is bafflingly shoved aside to make way for a male or Merrillia herself to take power. I understand player empowerment, but there comes a point where a sense of progress is impeded by the game handing heaps of praise and awe onto my character without reasonable justification. It forces characters whom I once viewed favorably, such as Aela and Karliah, to act out of character; they must suddenly be disempowered so that I may take their place. The easiest way to do that, of course, is to fall back to gender stereotypes, i.e. sexism.

Nor can this be explained away with reference to Skyrim’s fictional world: “I would wager the same thing happened with Skyrim that happens with most fiction writing: they didn’t even consider strong, respectable female roles as a possibility in the first place. I wouldn’t blame them. They’d be traversing largely unexplored territory.” Prell ends with a call for gamers to engage developers and ask for better representation in gaming.

Misogynistic Questlines

Arondil
The necromancer, Arondil. The Elder Scrolls Wiki.

Stephanie Weaver, “Skyrim & the Unequal Application of Bigotry Pt. 1,” at Speculative Rhetoric, begins by noting that the player’s gender does not affect their gameplay. One problem with though is that the player’s gender is set, so that their pronouns are consistent throughout the game and whatever clothing or armour they pick up automatically adjusts to suit their gender. “In short, Skyrim doesn’t permit any genderbending or nongendered characters. And while the playable character may marry men or women regardless of gender, they seem to be the only queer character in the entire country, since all other couples you run into are cisgendered and heterosexual.” Weaver proceeds to address the “misogyny [which] is widespread in Skyrim.”:

One of the most disturbing quests is recovering a necromancer’s journals from Yngvild Barrow. The barrow is filled with ghostly women, and reading the journals reveals that Altermeri necromancer Arondil, after being shunned by the attractive young women of Dawnstar, retreated to the barrow to continue his experiments. After reanimating a number of female corpses to obey his orders, Arondil found their company agreeable, with heavy overtones that the relationships became sexual, and when a live women was captured by his reanimated slaves, he tried a different kind of experiment to create these spectral beings that, when touch, produce “a sensation unlike any other, as if her essence were invigorating [his] very soul, connecting with [him] on a level no woman of flesh and blood could do” (Arondil’s Journal #4).

Weaver highlights a similar storyline in the quest Blood on the Ice. She goes on to provide some critical comment on the quest Caught Red Handed, in which the player is tasked with hunting down tokens that a woman, Haelga, gives to her different lovers and subsequently confronting her. “That’s right, people, it’s Slut Shaming: The Quest.” Weaver observes that one of the lovers, Bolli, accuses Haelga of having slipped something into his drink. Weaver comments on the disappointing lack of options to engage this accusation:

1. If Haelga did in fact slip something in Bolli’s drink, that should have been treated as more serious. There should have been an option to investigate the claim and a stricter punishment than just embarrassing her.

2. If Haelga did not in fact slip something in Bolli’s drink, that claim should not have been made by Bolli or he should have been chastised or punished for the claim. The way this plays out just further reinforces a damaging narrative that people lie about being raped and therefore we should not take rape claims (especially rape claims made by men about women) seriously.

Interestingly, Weaver comments on the issue of religious freedom. If Haelga’s exploits are part of her religion, as she and others in the questline claim, then the player’s acts against her and the hushed nature of them suggest that this is not merely a case of slut-shaming but of religious persecution as well. Finally, Weaver admits that she is in two minds on how to go about remedying this: “If, for instance, misogyny were equally applied, players would be punished for choosing a female character, and that’s not a good thing. On the other hand, this kind of unequal application may allow male players of women characters to further ignore the misogyny around them because it doesn’t affect them.” I am not up with the newest RPG games but I think these types of questions will become increasingly relevant as we see developers continue to grapple with the needs of their audiences. (Note also that this post is labelled part 1, posted on 29 July, 2017. Weaver intended to do a second post but as of yet it has not appeared).

Inside the Sex Modding Community

whip cane
An item from Turbosnowy’s Fetish Collection

Steven Messner, “Inside the Skyrim sex modding community where almost no taboo is off limits,” at PC Gamer, provides a look at the “Skyrim sex modding community.” Skyrim’s potential for modding allows for a much vaster player experience. This is especially the case with mods dealing with sexual content, where the community “hasn’t left many stones unturned.” Messner begins with Ashal, the owner of LoversLab, which provides many modders with the tools and materials for adding sexually explicit content to the game:

LoversLab and its roughly 1.5 million members are responsible for thousands of mods that meticulously cover every aspect of sexuality. It’s such a massive community that even on a Monday morning there are over 1,700 active users. The mod Schlongs of Skyrim, to take one example, provides an exhaustive suite of options for tailoring every aspect of a character’s penis to make it look justright. And then there are mods like Devious Devices, an incredibly in-depth series of BDSM mods that give players every bondage or domination tool they could dream of.

This quote from Kimy, who works for Devious Devices, is also worth repeating:

I don’t want to see sex scenes for the sake of seeing sex. I want them embedded in a meaningful story or setting. A lot of [LoversLab] mods actually provide just that, which to me is their main benefit over [porn]. My specific focus—bondage—isn’t even necessarily pornographic in nature. Bondage play can involve or result in sex, but doesn’t have to.

Messner proceeds to comment on some of the other content available, such as mods that allow players to engage in necrophilia, bestiality, or rape. “Other[ mods] simulate sexual assault to a troubling degree, including victims exhibiting emotional trauma by crying after their assault is over.” Indeed, on the modding site, “the only thing that is strictly off limits is anything involving children.” This leads Messner beyond the world of gaming into that of sex therapy and psychology, finding that there is no scientific basis for a correlation between rape fantasy and committing rape or sexual assault in reality (this article, for example). Even in regard to perpetrators, other factors play a much larger role. “Violent media serves a very small part” (quoting Dr. David Ley). Messner does not address the notion of rape culture, however, which many of these mods surely perpetuate.

Misogyny in the Modding Community and its YouTube Coverage

thefeministgamer99, “Sexism in modding and MxR Mods,” at The Feminist Gamer, writes about sexism in the modding community, using videos by the YouTuber, MxR Mods, as an example (“This is not to incite any hatred against MxR Mods personally, he is just one of many male gamers who does this kind of crap and I am sorry for singling him out”). She begins by noting that the thumbnails on his videos display scantily-clad women from various mods. She then proceeds to a mod that the YouTuber covers in which players receive a lair from a Daedric Lord in which you torture women in different ways:

I found this video particularly disturbing for the casual response to this kind of level of violence against women. In the comments in fact, no one had any problem with this mod being called “kinky”. If these were men, we know that this would not be dubbed “kinky” and would instead be “gruesome”. The fact that no one appears to find this mod disturbing and in fact, this mod has been endorsed hugely, is alarming to say the least.

The YouTuber expresses dissatisfaction in a joking manner over a mod in which the player needs to constantly give a female companion gold in order to win her affection, stating, “Why the fuck do I want a gold digger as a follower? I guess it is kind of immersive because girls kind of are gold diggers.” thefeministgamer99 proceeds to note that the YouTuber is likely young and that this kind of misogyny has a structural aspect. But, she continues, this does not mean that we shouldn’t be critical. One of her main concerns is that modders and YouTubers might be unaware of women in their audience, perpetuating sexist tropes, which turns people like her away from potentially interesting content.

Skyrim’s Subtle Nods to the Patriarchy

TESV_Mikael
The Bard, Mikael. The Elder Scrolls Wiki.

Tinyorc, “imagining gender equality: the case of Skyrim,” at massive hassle, questions the oft-expressed sentiment that Skyrim “does not discriminate based on gender.” She responds, “Despite the fact that there are ostensibly strong women everywhere in Skyrim, I’ve always had a nagging sense that this world still doesn’t really belong to them.” Tinyorc proceeds to give numerous examples, such as:

Riverwood is intended to be the first town the player visits. In Riverwood, you can help resolve a love triangle in which two men are trying to win a woman’s affections by deceiving her. Men competing with each other for a woman’s hand with no actual input from the woman in question is part of patriarchy. As you move on to the city of Whiterun, you will encounter Carlotta Valentina, who is being harassed by the bard Mikael. Mikael, it transpires, is the author of A Gentleman’s Guide to Whiterun, which is essentially a pick-up artist’s guide to the women of Whiterun, rating them by attractiveness and discussing risks and considerations for getting them into bed. Mikael views women as objects to be evaluated and acquired – how did he develop such a misogynistic perspective in a purportedly egalitarian society?

Examples such as these lead Tinyorc to conclude, “Skyrim is a colossal imaginative undertaking, but when it comes to gender equality, it falls at the first hurdle: it fails to imagine a world where the power relations between men and women are fundamentally different to what we know and accept in the real world.” The same is true of Skyrim’s endorsement of same-sex marriage, which, as Tinyorc notes, finds no corresponding examples in the wider world of Skyrim. Finally, she comments on the potential for high fantasy gaming to actually challenge patriarchy. I especially like the way she puts this: “Forget dragons and wizards and ancient artefacts of indescribable power; a world built on gender equality from the bottom up? Now that would be something truly fantastic.”

And Others in Short

baratron at Live Journal registers a brief complaint about LGBT representation in Skyrim. “The only overt same-sex couple are both dead,” she writes of Hrodulf and Bjornolfr. Eunseob Lee and others at Prezi provide a short, interactive presentation on gender equality in Skyrim, highlighting those aspects which they believe demonstrate its egalitarian nature. Jeff Venancio at Geeks New England writes of being male and playing as female characters, using the example of Skyrim. John Walker at Rock Paper Shotgun wrote in 2011 of the then forthcoming Skyrim and same-sex marriage, contrasting it BioWare’s Star Wars: The Old Republic. LA RYTER at F-BOM comments on the ups and downs of gender representation in Skyrim. Meghan Burrows at Women & Cyberdrama is wholly positive about Skyrim’s features that concern gender and sexuality, though her placing of it in the context of Gamergate and the events surrounding Anita Sarkeesian may be of interest to some readers. piercestream at Play the Gay Away briefly comments on Skyrim’s LGBT representation and then demonstrates some of the homophobic coverage that this occasioned, following the hashtag #skyrimjobs. POWERXCIV in a forum post as GameFAQs  makes a plea for better gay representation in the Elder Scrolls series. Sam Dercon at Sex, etc. offers a teenager’s perspective, praising Skyrim because it “break[s] barriers not only in the graphics and game play departments but also in its representation of sexuality, specifically gender roles and sexual orientation.”

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The Antinomies of Gender and Sexuality in Skyrim

I still enjoy playing vanilla Skyrim. Actually, I’ve never even played the DLC, and have only used Steam intermittently so that I’ve missed any chances of getting it on the cheap (I can’t seem to find it at all any more, and I think you can only buy the Legendary Edition, which already includes the DLC but which I haven’t bought). So if you can still tolerate me, allow me to share some thoughts on gender and sexuality in Skyrim, based on my having played only this side of the game, and also not having played any other games in the Elder Scrolls series. This also means that readers more knowledgeable in Elder Scrolls lore will be able to correct me where correction is due.

Skyrim as High Fantasy

What requirements does the world of Skyrim have to meet for it to be considered genuine? Firstly, in terms of genre, Skyrim is a fantasy game, specifically high fantasy (compare). That is, it is not our world (real life–RL) with some minor modifications (that would be low fantasy) but takes place in quite a different world, though it is related in many respects. On the one hand, the world of Skyrim takes much from RL, with much of its animals, forests, mountains, rivers, climates, foods, weaponry, towns and villages, social structures, calendar, etc. closely resembling that of medieval Europe, and pre-Christian Norway (compare). On the other hand, Skyrim also departs from RL in many ways, though much of this is taken from RL religion and mythology: so draugr, dragons, Sovengarde, the Aedra and the Daedra, magic, shouts, alchemy, Dwemer technology, the different humanoid races, the land of Skyrim as a part of Tamriel and that as a part of Nirn–an entirely different planet to that of Earth.

Where Skyrim does depart from RL it is in its being a world where the creatures and gods of myth are real, and can be experienced as such by the player. The world the player inhabits is an enchanted one at almost every turn. But there are also other differences between Skyrim and RL that are not satisfactorily accounted for by its high fantasy genre. Indeed, they have more to do with accepted (to some extent) conventions in fantasy gaming and the medium of gaming itself. In this post I want to argue that the fantasy world of Skyrim sacrifices internal consistency for the sake of player experience.

The Medium of Gaming and the Departure from RL

There are a number of ways in which Skyrim asks for the player’s suspension of disbelief, for the sake of gameplay. A number of these have been illustrated by “Skyrim logic” memes:

Skyrim-Torch-Meme

Skyrim-Cheese-Meme
Food can be used to heal the player, and can be digested while the game is paused
Skyrim-Bandit-MEme
Hostile NPCs rarely retreat, even when they have just seen the player defeat a dragon

Other features, there to enhance the player’s gameplay, might include the absurdly huge carrying capacity available to the player or the battle mechanics. As one commenter on Quora puts it:

I haven’t seen a medieval-based video game which would be practically accurate. Realistic fighting is not about long, exhausting battles where you gradually bring down your opponent’s health. It’s about killing or seriously hurting your opponent with one successful hit within the first 3 seconds of the duel and watching him bleed out or take the opportunity to make sure he doesn’t survive.

And don’t get me started on the food. Skyrim includes tomatoes and potatoes, both of which in RL only came to Europe from the Americas in the sixteenth century. Tolkien himself was guilty of this crime. Basically, these features in particular are either included to enhance gameplay, such as the battle interface, or have not been thought through, the food possibly being an example of this. They have little, if anything, to do with the high fantasy genre and much more to do with its medium–here gaming.

The unrealistic features that are not accounted for by the high fantasy genre but the medium of gaming most of the time inhabit relatively neutral territory, though it should be noted that many players have sought a more–keyword–“immersive” experience, that (often) is, a more realistic experience that bypasses these suspensions of disbelief. Various mods have helped them achieve this. But we step into not-so neutral territory when we begin to address gender and sexuality in Skyrim. This is because the representations of gender and sexuality in Skyrim, for better or worse, correspond to or depart from the structures of gender and sexuality in RL. (Contrast Skyrim’s treatment of race, which, while I’m sure there is still much room for improvement, is a lot less superficial than its approach to gender and sexuality: see Nord discrimination of different Elvish races, Argonians, and the Khajitt; the plight of the Forsworn/Reachmen; the mild exclusivism of the Orsimer; Dwemer enslavement of Snow Elves; etc.).

Boob Armour and Modesty Conventions

To take one example that has received much attention, consider the infamous “boob armour.” Early on in the game, the player might encounter Uthgerd the Unbroken:

Uthgerd_the_Unbroken
Image from The Elder Scrolls Wiki

There are many treatments of the relationship between boob armour and RL history available on the internet (here Skyrim specific, sometimes heated). But I have found the following video particularly helpful:

Quick sum: 1. We aren’t aware of any historical precedents for boob armour (at least that which might be used in combat–see comments here). 2. If boob armour were actually employed in combat historically, rather than protecting the wearer it would instead make them more vulnerable to injury and death.

This might mean, then, if we interpret this as sympathetically as we can, that the women of Skyrim have an entirely different body-type to those in RL, so that boob armour actually does do its job and somehow affords them the same armour-rating as men who wear that armour. But this sympathetic interpretation is highly speculative and does not rest on evidence that the world itself provides. The simplest explanation is that Skyrim’s designers were either following convention or–whether consciously or not–attending to their own tastes and those of their hetero male playership.

In relation to this, Skyrim modesty conventions dictate that male humanoids can be topless but females must at least have their nipples covered. One exception is the goddess of beauty and love, Dibella, who is bare-breasted in a some depictions, with even the vulva–or place where the vulva might be–being semi-visible:

Dibella_(statue)
Image taken from The Elder Scrolls Wiki. See also here and here, as well the related but more “modest” depiction of Nocturnal.

Apart from this, female humanoids universally wear what looks like a cloth bra (I’m unaware of any exceptions):

rrcleaner2
Taken from here. In most cases, NPCs do not run around in their underwear. In this case, the player had maxed out their Pickpocket skill which allows a perk for pickpocketting equipped items, including clothing. Underwear is not an item in Skyrim and can never be “removed” without a mod.

Interestingly, male NPCs also have different bottom-half undies:

eyesopen
Taken from the same place.

Finally, before offering critical comment, note that there is virtually no variation in body size in Skyrim. All humanoids appear to be sleek and muscular, apart from children.

Skyrim’s modesty conventions, then, seem strangely in line with North American mainstream consumer culture, though not so strange if you consider the playership. The sexualisation of breasts requires both that they be accentuated in boob armour and that they be covered up. Cf. here the cognitive dissonance of Facebook’s policy on nipples. This is further exacerbated by the universal, exclusively ideal body-type that Skyrim offers, suggesting that upholding North American attractiveness conventions is more important than variety or realism (also this video if you haven’t seen it yet). Just how contemporary the beauty conventions of Skyrim actually are, moreover, can be seen in the fact surprising lack of variation for female headdresses (also here), apart from say circlets, which are worn by males too anyway. Even the depictions of Dibella, though following in the tradition of artistic depictions of the female form, are potentially problematic when considered in this context (see also).

Marriage and Sexual Orientation

Another odd interplay between realism or internal coherence, on the one hand, and player sensibilities on the other, can be seen in player marriage in Skyrim. Here Skyrim gives the impression that its world was formed to reflect an intentionally idealised version of RL. Thus, where the non-heterosexual, non-male player might still run into obstacles on the basis of their sexuality and gender in RL, virtually none of these are to be found in Skyrim. For example, players playing as male characters can marry other male NPCs and female characters female NPCs (no NPC will object on the basis of gender). If we are thinking about this in terms of the world itself and not just a fancy open to the player, then every marriable NPC is thus already bisexual, or, their sexual orientation is determined to match the player’s gender from the outset of the game. This is further complicated by a perk available in the Speech skill which affords “10% better prices with the opposite sex” when buying or selling wares. Every merchant is then already hetero- or bisexual. This may all be relatively acceptable, but the problem finally becomes clear when the player realises that there are no other, non-hetero, romantic relationships in the world of Skyrim, besides that available to the player and one in the DLC (lengthy video treatment that I have not watched, here).

The only other non-hetero relationship in Skyrim is not even a part of the original game and clearly an afterthought. Does this not mean that the world of Skyrim is basically heteronormative? If so, oddly, no hostility is shown the player for their apparently unconventional choice of marital partner. This all leads very quickly to the conclusion that Skyrim includes the option to provide a more inclusive or expansive (or both) player experience, without really having thought through the implications this might have for the internal consistency of its world. Obviously there would be considerable problems with creating a world that emulates the discrimination its non-hetero players would face in RL. Of course, literature, film, and other art forms from the LGBT community have already done this. To do so in gaming, then, is no more problematic, though, that being said, the unique nature of the medium needs to be taken into account. Nor can I offer any suggestions of what this might look like, being myself a cis hetero male. It should be noted, nonetheless, that here Skyrim seems to be tending towards inclusivity rather than allying itself with existing stations of power, as in its use of boob armour. There is a catch, though. Rather than make a unique contribution to the conversation or challenge its more socially conservative playership, such as in an alternative world with a much more liberal and diverse approach to gender, sexual orientation, and sexuality, Skyrim only includes a hushed, token acknowledgement of non-hetero orientations by offering the player the opportunity to marry someone of the same gender, an act that is an absolute anomaly in the context of its wider world.

Gender Roles

Societies in Skyrim appear to be largely egalitarian. You have male and female royalty, jarls, and warriors, and, as far as I can tell, women almost always not being excluded from any role or type of work on the basis of their gender. There are a few exceptions, though. All hold guards are male, for example, apart from Stormcloak guards. Orsimer society is structured around a stronghold supporting a single tribe and run by a male chieftain, the latter being the only member of the tribe permitted to marry (see for example). Finally, the Forsworn Briarhearts, likely playing an important and prestigious role in Forsworn society, are all male (conversely, Hagravens are only ever female), though one anonymous contributor to the wiki speculates: “There are no female Briarhearts. This may be an oversight or maybe due to censorship, as the hole with the briarheart flower inside is always on the chest, and if the briarheart was a female, then the breasts would be exposed. Hence, no female Briarhearts.”

Forsworn
A Forsworn Briarheart. Image from The Elder Scrolls Wiki.

Other clues as to gender roles in Skyrim can be found in NPC dialogue. The famous line, “What’s the matter? You can’t stand the sight of a strong Nord woman?” uttered by various female Nord NPCs (and now the title of a Bachelors thesis on Nord culture in Skyrim, albeit in Swedish) seems to suggest that woman’s physical strength is something of an anomaly in Skyrim, though an anomaly that particular Nord woman demonstrate exceptions to. Ahlam’s dialogue is more to the point: “Men are all alike, from Skyrim to Hammerfell. They care only for war and politics, and treat their women like cattle.” But this may have more to do with her unhappy marriage to Nazeem than it does provide an accurate depiction of gender relations across Skyrim. Again, it seems as if Skyrim attempts a kind of token embrace of egalitarian gender roles (with a few exceptions), in order to be more inclusive, though without providing an internal rationale for doing so. I’d be interested if anyone has any differing intepretations.

One particularly interesting aspect of gender roles in Skyrim is to be found in the cult of Dibella, the goddess of love and beauty. As far as I know, the cult typically only admits female adherents. This is one case in which dialogue to the player differs depending on the player’s gender. In midst of the quest, The Heart of Dibella (see also), the priestess Hamal can inform the player:

“You, my dear, can earn the Blessing of Dibella. You’ll find men to be more pliable in the future… or more vulnerable.”

OR, if the player’s character is male: “Have you heard of the Blessing of Dibella? It can help you with the wooing of women, if that’s your aim. Or give you strength if you happen to offend one. Typically we avoid bestowing it upon men, but for the Sybil’s escort, we could make an exception.”

On completing The Heart of Dibella, the player gains the Agent of Dibella ability, which allows them to do 10% more damage to the opposite sex (again assuming a universal hetero- or bisexuality), something less than is implied in the priestess Hamal’s dialogue. What is hinted at in the depictions of Dibella, though, and in the dialogue with Hamal, becomes explicit in the quest, Caught Red Handed. Haelga, who runs a “bunkhouse” for workers, is also a follower of Dibella. This entails a particular kind of devotion. Check out this note from one of her lovers:

Until_next_time_01
Allow me to bring the trout. Image from The Elder Scrolls.

And Haelga’s conversation with her niece, Svana:

Svana: “Aunt Haelga, why do you…demean yourself with these people you barely know? They show no real love for you.”
Haelga: “Its only a bit of fun. You’re a lovely young thing, you should try it sometime.”
Svana: “No! I’m saving myself for someone special. Someone who loves me dearly.”

Finally, one contributor to the wiki has the following to note:

Her reputation is further justified with contextual evidence from her bedroom: a bed with shackles, a shelf full of stamina potions, a horker tusk and leather strips underneath her bed, a jar of honey and more leather strips on the dresser, The Lusty Argonian Maid Vol 1 and Vol 2, a bottle of Falmer Blood Elixir (which Brynjolf says will allow one to “make love like a sabre cat”)…

Apart from the player joining Svana to slut-shame her aunt, Haelga’s exploits and those of the cult of Dibella suggest a potentially sex-positive side of Skyrim. This is especially the case if Skyrim society is largely egalitarian and the encounters are consensual. But I’m not yet convinced that Skyrim has thought deeply enough about gender relations to make this claim. As argued above, it is instead simply an attempt at a tokenistic inclusivity. And in the context of boob armour, etc., the potential sex positivity of the cult of Dibella quickly becomes just another way of appealing to the hetero male playership.

Afterword

This post grew from a paragraph or two introducing a post that was intially intended to address religion in Skyrim, the latter which, at the time of writing this, has not yet been written. I have worked from my own experience of playing Skyrim and have not taken the time to read other treatments of gender and sexuality in Skyrim. If you are aware of any quality ones, please let me know in the comments. I have read Sophie Prell’s piece, which focusses on different features of the gameplay as well as problematic aspects outside of the game in its marketing and playership.

 

Some Thoughts on Being Colourblind

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A dotted circle, apparently with numbers (Wikipedia)

This afternoon I went downstairs for an afternoon break and was perusing the posters on the poster board. Sometimes people are doing research and they get funding so it’s good to see if you qualify so that you can get a little extra dosh. Sometimes people can’t offer any incentive but the good that is you being apart of their research. I don’t usually take time to participate in the second type, though I try to convince myself sometimes if it looks like particularly important stuff. Today I found a dotted circle, the kind that I instantly recognised from the time we all got taken out of class in primary school, one-by-one, to get a free eye test. I was excited to tell my parents that I was colourblind. Not because that was good in itself, but that I felt validated that someone finally knew something of me that I always knew but did not yet have the framework within which to express it. I felt again that same excitement today, eagerly texting the student to demonstrate my interest in participating in her research on the experiences of colourblind people.

I thought, also, that it would be good to write a wee post to share with the world and gather my thoughts before turning up for a research interview and realising I have little to say. If I were more diligent, I would get around to reading what other people have said about their experiences, and dig into some popular science around it. Alas, I am not diligent, so I present here my experiences as I know them, minimally unsullied by extra conceptual frameworks. Unfortunately, I could not tell you what type I am. I can only give you vague assertions around what colours I have difficulty seeing. (This could probably be easily remedied by doing a free online test but I can’t be bothered right now, lol).

I have a faint recollection of one of my first frustrations with colourblindness, though I’m not sure if I actually recall it or if I have created a memory from what I’ve been told. But the feelings of frustration remain, so I must have remembered something of it. When I was at my Nana’s house, I either could not tell Nana (or Mum?) what colour the numbers were on the microwave, or I couldn’t see them at all. I would have been anywhere between four and seven. Anyway, neither Nana nor Mum believed me–whatever it was that I said–and it was only after I got the word from the specialist lady at school (warm fuzzy times!) that they could retrospectively regain my trust in matters microwavial.

Post-diagnosis, other frustrations continued. There was bullying. My younger brother took advantage of my disability and called me stupid when I couldn’t tell what colour something was, for example, if I were to refer to a purple car as blue. Even though it hurt at the time and I hated him for it, I can understand it now because I was such an arse to him and he was younger than me. We both capitalised on anything socially undesirable, however minor, of the other’s. In high school, when I started making some friends outside of our typical friend group, a couple of guys would say, “Go hang out with your other friends, colourblind!” That sounds really weird, and it was. They certainly weren’t being serious. I think they thought it’d be a funny and random thing to say. It did hurt though. Finally, I remember the oddest time when one of my friends said that I wasn’t even colourblind because he knew someone who was dyslexic and colourblind together. They’d get the bright green bus mixed up with the bright red one. I never had that trouble so I had nothing to complain about. That really sucks for that guy, but I reserve the right to politely reject my friend’s claim, keeping in mind that this friend was not himself colourblind, nor dyslexic.

There were other frustrations too. When people found out I was colourblind (usually from me accidentally misnaming an object), they would be fascinated and want to test me. “What colour’s this? What colour’s that?” I’d disappoint them when I often got all of their questions correct, usually with some good guesswork! In high school this sometimes elicited the response, “Oh, you’re not really colourblind.” Sometimes this had led me to secretly ask someone in the know what colour something was before talking about it aloud. But the problem with people who know you’re colourblind is that they’ll unwittingly take advantage of your colourblindness to affirm something that even people with typical vision would debate, for example, whether you call a particular sunset orange (me and some people) or red (some other people) or yellow (other people yet again). All might be true, as it is a matter of linguistics and not sight, but it automatically becomes a matter of sight. You’re wrong because you’re colourblind, even though you hadn’t asked whether you were right or wrong. And both people are actually right anyway. Another time I remember we were looking at different stars and people would talk about red ones and white ones and blue ones. It seems little, and it was, but I can’t shake the feeling of having missed out then. They all look the same colour to me, and they’re so small that I can’t quite know what colour that might be!

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(Pixabay)

One particularly interesting frustration is the use of the word colourblind to denote a particular form of racism. For many, those who say that blacks and whites have equal opportunities in the States (and elsewhere, for example), are colourblind. That is, they “don’t see colour.” They don’t see that which is otherwise obvious to an oppressed people group, which is that the odds are clearly stacked against them. I have no problem with this analysis. Indeed, it’s more important than what I’m writing about here. But I don’t think the wording is helpful at all. It makes use of a person’s disability (and there are much more major forms of colourblindness than mine, as my high school friend graciously reminded me) to characterise something undesirable. Unfortunately, as far as I know, regardless of the term’s origin, it is most at home on the left, people who might otherwise know better. If they didn’t know, that’s fine with me, someone who once made a habit of calling everything “lame.” But now is the time to find a replacement term.

A more comical frustration for me, perhaps because it doesn’t really happen in a social context, is the difficulty I’ve had gaming sometimes. For example, when playing Age of Empires II, which I played a lot as a kid, I always found it difficult to distinguish yellow and green players on the mini-map, as well as both of these from gold mining spots. This problem was the worst on a campaign(s?) where you had to play as a yellow or green player, and you’d be attacked by or attacking the other colour and not be able to distinguish your own guys from the enemy’s. Recently, when Pokemon Go came out, I couldn’t tell if I’d swiped a PokeStop or not, which changed from blue to purple when swiped, because the colour change was too subtle for me. Another funny one is the men’s toilets outside my office. There are two cubicles with red or green to indicate whether engaged or vacant, except they don’t have the writing, just the colour. Because I do better with colours close-up, I have to walk right up to the closed cubicle door (which is always closed, vacant or no) and inspect the lock.

The thing that I’ve only just realised in the last couple years is that my colourblindness is located in a world beyond the literal workings of my vision. It’s never my eyes alone that tell me the colour (wrong or right) of an object. This is the same with people who have typical vision. That is, I cannot tell you how my eyes see the sky because my brain has already told me, from myriad stories and interactions, etc, that the sky is blue. I don’t know if I see it or ever saw it as purple. Healthy grass is green and not brown. But I can’t tell you if that’s my eyes or my brain. And unless I see objects in new contexts or objects I have never seen before, I cannot say where my eye starts and my brain finishes.

As you can see, my experiences with colourblindness haven’t been the end of my world. They have led me to mild frustration and sadness sometimes, and I think it is right to acknowledge them. They are little compared with the experiences of those with more major impairments, not least those with more major vision impairments. Indeed, they have allowed me a greater understanding of myself and others. I hope you learned something, and feel free to ask questions and share your experiences (colourblind or otherwise) in the comments.